I've always been interested in human interraction. I studied it in college. Sociology was my minor (obvious correlation), and Communication was my major-- which had much to do with human interraction.
As much as I observe and analyze it, I never cease to be amazed by defensiveness. One thing I've observed is that it has so little to do with what is actually said. In my experience, it is tone and body language, rather than actual content, that cultivates a defensive environment.
Another thing I've noticed, is everyone-- to a various degrees-- is defensive. Yea, you're all thinking "duh...". I guess what I'm talking about is defensiveness when there was really no reason to be. Think back to yesterday. How many people did you either interact with or observe that misinterpreted something and immediately became defensive. Maybe they were bumped by a stranger on the metro . Maybe they were cutoff in traffic. Maybe they were having what should have been a friendly conversation. And one or both parties jumped to the conclusion that the other was out to get them, and made it into a personal attack. We're all guilty of it...
The most saddening thing by far that I've observed-- in relation the defensiveness, though, is the people that live their life thinking the world is out to get them. At every turn, someone is trying to screw them over or cheat them out of something. Unfortunately, not everyone can take a step back from situations and see circumstances and people for what they are.
There's an interesting combination of emotion and rational thinking involved. Perhaps it's a learned skill to pause, consider context and motive, then react. I'm sure it comes more naturally to some than others. And of course there are naive people, that are rarely defensive... probably not often enough.
Very few conclusions... just a lot of thoughts floating around.
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