Your arithmetic is lousy, now take off your pants!

The title of this post is my new pickup line. But it's also a line I heard my Grandma say to her husband, my dear step-grandfather, as she was getting him ready for bed. He was giving her a hard time ("talking crazy" - as he sometimes does, a symptom of his old age), and that was just about the meanest thing that came out of her mouth!

What strikes me is how patient she is. Where the heck did she learn that? I'm just about the most impatient person that ever was. I don't even know how we share the same lineage. She is dependably kind, honest and loving. Most impressively in situations where this line originated from. No one would fault her for throwing up her hands and taking a much deserved break. But she keeps to her dutiful routine of managing all aspects of the house and being the caregiver.

Back to how this relates to me... will I learn this with age and experience? Or did she always have this trait? I'm sure raising three kids contributed. Let alone managing her relationships with the adult version - 3 awesomely opinionated, confident, outspoken women - with three extremely different personalities! And don't even get me started on the wide array of personalities in her grandchildren, OR the steps (there isn't a blog long enough).

And while she's not busy handling business around the house, she's learning to skype (pretty impressive (and open minded) for an 80-something), delivering meals on wheels, line dancing, bible studying or socializing.

Incredible energy, patience and determination. Fabulous role model!

The holiday spirit!

If you're reading this blog, you probably know that I don't have a close relationship with Jesus. Nothing against the guy - he seemed really great. But while sometimes spiritual, I'm not very religious. Partially because organized religion tends to be everything Christianity isn't (in my opinion) - but that was discussed in a previous blog (let me know if you would like me to revisit the issue).

ANYHOW - the point of my blog: what the holiday season means to ME. There's something about this time of the year that makes me more generous, kind to strangers, and eager to gather with friends and family. I can even tolerate holiday music, for the most part.

What is it that makes that happen? Thanksgiving, followed by the "Christmas" season, immediately followed by New Years (new beginnings, fresh start, celebration). It's the triple whammy of goodness. Unfortunately it lasts until early January and people go back to being selfish assholes. I wish someone could figure out how to bottle the feeling... then force everyone to take a few teaspoons a day.

Really looking forward to the next several weeks!

Thank GOD that's over for another 4 years

In the aftermath of the election I'm personally feeling optimistic and relieved. With that said, I'm also feeling very sympathetic toward all the Americans that didn't get their way. While I find it FUN (albeit sometimes aggravating) and enlightening to debate others about politics, it is easy to get emotionally wrapped up. As I was watching [very pleasing] election results roll in, I couldn't help but be reminded of how I felt the day Bush won his second term. With all sincerity I feel very sympathetic to the voters that didn't get their way; such a horrible, desperate, defeated feeling. I find it ironic that elections divide us and tragedies unite us... and elections sure do divide us. I hope the leaders of the country heard the American people when we said there is a strong need for bipartisan cooperation - most urgently on the budget issues.

Election day, to me, is as patriotic of a day as July 4. Democracy in action! We should probably start making it a tradition to grill hot dogs and eat potato salad.

It was a historic day in Maryland - passing the dream act and gay marriage. YAHOO. I couldn't be more proud to reside in such a forward thinking, compassionate state.

It's been a while....

Hi Kids...

I've been meaning to write for quite some time now. My apologies to all 6 of my followers!

I've given up on the stranger thing. Not because it's so hard to meet strangers. Mostly because it's too much of a commitment to document them all. Although here's one notable stranger I've met:
Michael - from the subway, with two tear tattoos. He wanted to know my sign, and asked me if I was compatible with his. He also said he's a gangster and a thug, but not with his special females. A lot of things he said I couldn't decipher (I can't search urban dictionary quick enough to keep up with the conversation). Let's just say there was a lot of blank looks and "uhhhh's" on my end.

Since I've last written I had a wonderful trip to San Diego. Always a fun time. Got some good quality time in with Chris and Laura, and the entire PB gang. And an added bonus - my bff (kinda can't believe I actually just wrote that, how 5 years ago) Ashley and her husband Andrew now live there. I bounced between Ashley's and Chris's and attended a meeting for work (which was why I went when I did). Beautiful weather but HOT. I had plans to go back for Thanksgiving but I can't really afford it, so unless I get a sponsor I'll be delaying that trip a few months.

Election season is in full swing. I try to not engage too much in political discussions unless the other person agrees with me. But I have to say - since it's MY blog, I don't get how any woman can go along with the Romney/GOP platform. Nor do I get why anyone making less than a ton of money would go that way. I'm super biased... and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for exactly one more week. I can't wait til this is all behind us. The political ads are getting more and more nasty - AND more and more frequent.

A hurricane hit the DC area last night. Special, huh? All in all, the damage wasn't so bad. Most people I know have power and minimal (if any) damage. Warmest October I can remember, topped off with a freakin' hurricane. Go figure. Lucy and I hunkered down with red wine and an embarrassing amount of old Grey's Anatomy episodes. It was quite perfect!

Those are the high points. I promise to write more often. You've heard that one before, huh?

This is a long one! So much to say...

The order of these ramblings are in no particular order. But a lot of notable things are going on in this world- so here we go:

PSU - I should start off by saying I think everything PSU and NCAA did in response to evidence that many high ranking PSU officials (including Joe Paterno, obviously) knew that Sandusky was sexually abusing young men and even took actions to cover it up, was fair and appropriate. I think there is a group of victims that hasn't gotten the attention they deserve, and that is Joe's players and fans. Specifically his players. These young men played their hardest for Joe. They trusted and respected Joe. And he let them down; Joe wasn't the stand-up guy (at least in some regards) that they believed he was. As an athlete who had coaches that turned out to not be who I thought they were, as an athlete who was let down by MY role model on an occasion or two -- my heart goes out to these guys. I wasn't necessarily ANGRY at my coaches for their short comings or "demons" - but I was caught off guard and a bit deflated.

After a passionate discussion with a good friend of mine, I realized there are individuals who are chastising Joe's players. THAT is taking it a step too far. Admittedly, I was ignorant to this. Keep in mind that most of these guys started playing for PSU when they were "boys" - either legally or emotionally. Joe grew them into "men". This has to be a time of reflection and upset for them, whether they are angry, defensive or disappointed (and any other emotion they may be feeling).

Chick-fil-A - The debate everyone is getting sick of hearing about. A few key points I want to make, and since this is MY blog I feel the liberty to do so. And btw, I'll probably keep using social media to blast them as well ;)

This discussion was, in large part, begun by the Chick-fil-A leadership. They chose to take an aggressive, bigoted, controversial stance. I didn't go out of my way to learn the opinions of these people. But it was thrown in my face, so I get to cast judgement. Just like we do with politicians that put their policies and beliefs out into the world. I don't ASK my auto mechanics if they are racist. But surely if I found out they were, I would take my business elsewhere. My decision to not give Chick-fil-A my business is one way I'm supporting equal rights in this country. And I invite (and strongly encourage) you to do the same.

Additionally, I didn't know Jesus - but I'm SURE if he loved prostitutes and thieves, he would have been just fine with homosexuality. And if I argue about what's in the bible, I will lose every single time, but hasn't that been re-written about a million times? Why does anyone think it actually said homosexuality is wrong in its original version?

And while we're on the Christianity thing - I wish people would stop using it as a vehicle for hate and discrimination.

RELATED - boy scouts! REALLY? Was it necessary to come out against homosexuals? What kind of moral organization teaches discrimination and intolerance? To YOUNG KIDS? Gross.

The Rick Curl Swimming Scandal - Unfortunately I was not at all shocked about this, as I had heard similar stories about Rick through my swimming career.  My heart goes out to the victim. I totally understand how she would have gotten wrapped up in a situation like this. She thought she and her coach were in love, and he took advantage of her and sexually abused her as a teen. He gained the trust of her and her parents.

I'm not sure if all sports would lend itself to a situation like this quite the way swimming does. It's very much an individual sport, and it is SO psychological. Countless hours are spent training, and you rely on your coach so heavily for so much - emotionally and physically.

I think now that this one individual has come forward, it will empower other young women (and men, possibly) to step forward and call out behaviors of their coaches that are not appropriate. It may be a phenomenon we see across many sports after the Sandusky scandal - with a country so willing to support the victims.

Upsetting aspects of this particular case are that again, adults knew about it, and did nothing. Also, USA Swimming allegedly was given evidence of the abuse and delayed action for a few months until the story broke in the press. I hope swift, decisive action is taken. And while I appreciate that in America you have the right to face your accuser, and that you are innocent until proven guilty (which in this case he pretty much signed a paper saying he was), it is important to protect the other young people he interacts with in the interim.

AIDS 2012 - the international conference recently held in DC. SUPER cool. I only attended one day (the last) but it was fun to see such a diverse, energetic crowd. I had been to several cardiology conferences before with my previous job. But HIV/AIDS is different. It was not only about the science and research, but it was about the HIV community, activism and outreach. I heard individuals living with the virus speak. I hear politicians (Nancy Pelosi and Bill Clinton). I heard a celebrity (Whoopi Goldberg). And I heard amazing physicians/researchers speak, who have dedicated their careers (and in some cases lives) to the cause. I saw the AIDS quilt. There was such a great, positive energy. I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to experience it.

Lochte vs. Phelps - LOCHTE! Hello. I hope Phelps wins gold medals in everything but the events he swims against my Ryan.

OK - I think that's about it. Back to meeting strangers :)

Stranger #11

I met Patrick on Friday night. He was bro-ing it up with a friend of his. They started out drinking lots of beer. After taking it up a notch with a few shots, then showed off their amazing dance moves. I liked Patrick a lot until he flicked me off. He was a Nats fan, and as the game was falling apart, he thought I was chastising him. I really just wanted him to see what was going on. You win some, you lose some...

Stranger #10

#10 Introduced himself to me as "Big Daddy"... but his real name was Garfield. He was a pretty nerdy dude, but trying hard to be suave. A for effort. And that's all I really have to say about that.

Strangers 3 - 9

OK I'm a few days behind, but I'm doing good on my stranger goal!

#3: Mike at Bar Louie. He puts the strange in stranger. He came and sat on the corner of the bar - right in the middle of our group. Probably mid to late 60s and NO CLUE what was going on around him. He was a cheery guy. But weird and kinda annoying.

#4: Justin at Bar Louie. Skater dude. We discussed the fitness and transportation benefits of being a skate boarder. We also discussed martinis and he took my advice, so I liked him. Cute guy and nice to Mike, even though it wasn't an easy task.

#5: Virginia at Bar Louie. She was the bar tender and took good care of us. More in tune with what was going on around the restaurant than some other staff people I have come across!

#6: Vicki. She's a friend of a friend (Nicole). Nicole actually got a group of women together that didn't really know each other for crabs, barbeque and daquiris. Turned out to be a ton of fun. Great group, awesome food. No complaints! Vicki was a lot of fun and I hope to see her again soon.

#7: Jackie. Also met her at Nicoles, and also an awesome woman. She had great stories and definitely had a good head on her shoulders. Very fun to be around!! I think the crab picking may become an annual event!

#8: Ron. Working in an unofficial (so far) capacity for my uncle's campaign. Wonderful disposition, energetic, knowledgeable. And I think I will probably cross paths with him regularly once the campaign is in full swing!

#9: "Mitchell". I put that in quotes because it's not his first name, but it's what he goes by. I met him at a planning meeting for my uncle's campaign. He asked the tough questions, and I couldn't read his expressions. He could turn out to be an interesting dude.

Friends, Self Awareness, Advice

I wasn't in the mood to introduce myself to any strangers yesterday. But I did have a fabulous happy hour with a close friend. We talked about self awareness. Some people have it, and some just don't. I don't think self awareness is hard to attain, my theory is some people just don't want it. It's as simple as asking yourself a few questions, and changing your perspective a bit.

I'm not even going to try to transition into my next topic gracefully. Advice. I have fabulous friends, and I really cherish their opinions. At least a select few. And when you ask someone what they think - the answer isn't always easy to hear. And advice isn't always easy to act on. I heard some tough truths the past two days from two close friends. Or at least my friends' interpretation of the truth, and they are generally pretty "on". Hearing something - and even agreeing with it - is only the first step. Bringing yourself around to a point that you're reach to execute and make changes is another story all together.

And who wants to listen, lend advice, and not see changes made? In my pursuit of self awareness, I recognize that I can be draining to these wonderful friends. Frustrating, exhausting and a burden. Because they took the time out to care, I owe it to them to be the best version of me - and so what is most fair to myself - as possible.

Modifying My Goal (already) and Strangers 1 & 2

So - instead of a stranger a day, I'm going to aim for 365 strangers in 365 days. Clearly there will be days that I meet multiple people, and other days that I'm not feeling social at all. What qualifies as meeting? Exchanging names, learning something about that person. Ash wants it to require a version of "pleased to meet you" - although I think sometimes that goes without saying - and other times that would be a bold faced lie. I thought about using my waiter at lunch today as a stranger - but I didn't tell him my name, and we didn't really learn anything about each other, so that won't count!

Stranger #1: Julio - my bartender at Pi Pizza last night. He made me a delicious cocktail and poured healthy glasses of wine. He also recommended the Kirkwood pizza, which was a good choice. Not to mention his badass scar that started at the corner of his mouth and traveled down to his chin. I don't think Julio will remember ME, but I was happy to hang out with him for an hour or two!

Stranger #2: Jon Arroyo, head mixologist at Founding Farmers. He had a good personality, and was skilled at his trade. Unfortunately, the focus was tiki drinks and I have a strong dislike of rum drinks. He taught me things about making syrups, shaking drinks, and really made it clear I should never put my hand in a blending blender. I think if Jon remembers anything about me, it will be my comment about not enough vodka in his tiki class. He was a good sport, but I could tell he thought I was kinda a goof.

Successful first night!

Giddy up! New blog challenge!

I'm going to try to meet one new person every day for a year! And I'm going to try to blog about it daily. I may need some of my 6 (or so) followers to introduce me to people!

HELP!

A tactic my AshHole taught me

I'm learning, after watching my dear friend Ashley do it for years, to finally remind myself that it could ALWAYS be worse. Yesterday I was feeling anxious about things going on in my life, when I was contacted by a woman with two children who working her way out of an abusive relationship. What the hell am I worried about?

Ashley is good about putting things in perspective. People think they have problems - but are they worried whether they will have food at their next meal? A place to sleep at night? Clean clothes to wear?

Everyone's problems are real to themselves - and are more than often legit. But it really feels good to focus on the positive rather than dwell on the negative.

I may not always get what I want, but I'm so fortunate that I always have what I need!

I Heart Mondays

I may be one of the few people in this world that really LOVES Monday. In large part, it's because I go to half-priced wine at Clydes with my lovely coworkers and enjoy the company of some of my favorite bar tenders. It really is a great way to ease into the week.

But I also like Monday because it's a fresh start every single week. Another opportunity to have a positive outlook, be productive and enjoy what life throws at you. Kinda like hitting a reset button.

This week I'm going to try to ignore anything I don't like. Rather than fret or get annoyed, I will just pretend it's not happening. Or at the very least, find a way to laugh about what IS happening. Positivity - fake it til you make it!

Thoughts on a Thursday Evening

I'm going to apologize in advance for this blog being a bit vague. It really annoys me when people are not straight forward. Say it or don't - but don't tell half the story. Well, tonight half the story is all I have.

It's always a let down when you realize people aren't who you want them to be. I think I'm guilty of holding people to expectations they never agreed to in the first place. 

One of my personal resolutions this year was to not allow myself to feel anxious about things I can't control. Admittedly, I'm not succeeding with this. Other people ARE things I can't control. Yet I allow myself to be affected by their actions. Or lack thereof. 

I think my new goal will be two-fold. First, to lower my expectations for everyone. Maybe even myself. Second, to assume everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. I don't want to walk around this world angry. 

Things I'll NEVER Understand

1. Why people think they can justify hate and discrimination with Christianity and/or God. This really pisses me off. I want to scream "you're doing it wrong"! I don't think it's necessary that I even elaborate on this one. But if you fall into this category, you need to learn more about the religion you're preaching. Please and thank you.


2. Why anyone cares about the Duggars. How the hell do these people have their own TV show? They are crazy. And not really very interesting. The last thing I want to do is give them my attention.

3. Why my eyebrows grow like some damn weeds. Fine one day, taking over my face the next.  Especially inconvenient when their growth spurts don't jive with my trips to see the most fabulous nail and eyebrow lady on earth. Inquire within for more information.

4. Why people like their own Facebook statuses or comments. I think it goes without saying.

I think that'll do for now.

Did you know?

That I have been hit by two cars by accident? And someone tried to run me over once but missed?

The first time I got hit by a car was actually my fault. I was young - and had been at Sunday School all morning drawing in chalk and what not.You know, the kinds of things Jesus would want kids to do. So after church everyone was gathering outside - it was a BEAUTIFUL day, and one of my classmates wanted to know which car was my family's.  The big blue wagon (many good times in that car) was parked on the other side of the street. Without looking, I darted out to go stand by the beauty. A car, which was going SUPER slow, couldn't stop and hit me. I managed to hobble/run back to the curb where I proceeded to get TONS of attention. That poor driver felt SO bad. They called the ambulance, then cancelled it. Damnit, I could have gotten an even MORE stylish ride. I basically had some nasty scrapes and was embarrassed for weeks to come. People would try to talk to me about it, but I would pretend I didn't remember.

The second time I got hit was in my neighborhood. I was crossing at a fairly busy intersection. I was in a cross walk, almost past the car that was at a dead stop (there was one of those red octagon signs). He accelerated into me. He didn't have time to pick up too much speed. I started screaming and banging on his hood. Bastard didn't even roll his window down to ask if I was OK. My friend that is a police officer encouraged me to file a report, as I had his license plate number. I was in some pain for a few days - and never did really follow up. Too much work. I have regretted that ever since. It's not OK to go around hitting people in crosswalks, ya know?

Now the person that tried to run me over would probably argue with me to this day that it was his goal. We had been dating - I was home from college on a break, and wanted to go to some strange party with my friend. He drove us there, but didn't like what was going on, so sped off. Trouble was, we were in his path. We were able to get out of the way. But he still says he was just angry and trying to leave. I can't remember the exact circumstances, and how long it took for us to recover from THAT incident. I think in the end we're both glad he missed though. We continue to be friends to this day. He's pretty wonderful.

Who the hell cares? I do, unfortunately

I'm sitting here thinking about a topic that I can blog about. Plenty of random ideas... But I'm too worried about what people may think.

How do I get over that? I so admire people that put themselves out. I'm not comfortable with vulnerability.

I think of myself as generally outspoken. Able to communicate feelings and issues. Although seemingly not at the risk of me being humiliated.

I'll be thinking about a good blog to write in the next few days. I will spew something personal. And *try* not to worry what all 6 of my readers think of it :)

Falling Factor

A general rule is the more awesome the shoe, the more likely I will fall while wearing it. It's really a predicament. I'm known for my falls - not always graceful, but I rarely spill the drink that's in my hand!

This weekend I'm heading to a wedding - Marty and Theresa, a FABULOUS couple and I'm SO looking forward to their special weekend. I'm wearing a plain black dress. PERFECT opportunity to rock it out in some bad ass pumps. Right? But will I break an ankle? Take someone down with me? Crack my head open? Usually not. Sometimes I'm a little sore from my fall the next day, but I've never caused actual damage, and I don't believe I've taken anyone down with me.

Usually I bring a pair of flip flops along with me, so when it's time to boogie I can switch out my footwear. But that impacts my ability to carry a cute clutch.

I have about 24 hours to figure this out, packing has to happen!

"Bandwagon" Fans

It really pisses me off when people rant about "bandwagon" fans. And it happens about this time every year for the past few years as Caps head into the playoffs.

OF COURSE the entire DC area gets excited that one of our teams is finally doing well. And most people that didn't care about a single regular season game wouldn't claim to be a hockey expert. Would the die hard fans be happier if everyone in the area didn't care that the home town team was doing great? Or are they looking for the "lesser" fan to worship them for being more consistently supportive? Is this really a competition?

The fact is hockey is a really easy sport to watch. And get excited about. It's super fun to hate the other teams' jackass fans. I think it's great that the sport is getting some attention. I'm sure the players are loving it right now too.

GO CAPS, from a mediocre fan that LOVES YOU!

Don't Tell ME What To Do!

I think telling a person what NOT to do is as - intrusive, controlling, annoying, offensive, bossy, caring, wise - as telling someone what TO do. So if someone says to you "don't tell me what to do!" aren't the essentially telling you what to do?

Additionally - I beat an ambulance off the line tonight coming home. Stopped a stop light. Both first in our lanes at the intersection. I killed it! I know you're thinking I'm a moron - and that a huge, heavy truck will lose every time. But come on guys, we all know ambulances have places to go. 

Thirdly, I think I should make it my goal to watch shows in real time. I always play catch up and watch shows days - if not weeks - after they initially air. It takes a bit of the fun out of it when everything is always available. No more arranging my schedule accordingly. My girls and I used to have SO much fun on Thursday nights watching Grey's. 

Grateful to Work Where I Work

Last week we released a guideline. And made some mistakes. Long story short - there are two versions of the guideline (HTML and PDF). The two versions were not exactly the same - due mostly to the lack of QC time we had at the end of the process. Many lessons learned and we'll change our process for next time. But on to what really matters:

My coworkers are FABULOUS. My boss was understanding and never lost confidence in us. The team stuck together and logically worked through the "fix". I couldn't help but think of how this would have been at my last job. No joke - I would have been pulled into my boss' office and yelled at. For hours. There would have been finger pointing and plenty of tears.

It's great to work in an environment where, although they are not taken lightly, mistakes are OK. We are confident enough to admit when we're wrong or make a mistake. People work together, rather than against each other. The common goal is a quality product - no competition, no backstabbing.

After a very LONG day at the office, I left feeling more happy than ever to work where I do!

It has been a while...

To my loyal blog followers - who I believe is pretty much just AshHole - my sincerest apologies for not writing more often. It has been a whirlwind few weeks. But I'm back in the saddle. Trouble is, I ain't got shit to say!

Things are, for the most part, going pretty well for me. We moved offices, and the new building is GORGEOUS. There's a ridiculous alarm system though. Every time you walk by the elevator you have to swipe your badge. It sounds constantly. Especially when they first installed it. People are getting used to it now. Maybe due to the "Did you swipe?" sign they posted. Want to know a secret? I took a marker and made it "Did you wipe?". I wish this is where the story ended. But I giggled to myself for a few minutes, then removed the entire sign because I felt so bad about my unprofessional-ism. Now I'm contemplating things I can do with a "Did you wipe?" sign. I'll keep you posted!

Aging - In This Day and Age

Modern medicine has made it possible to grow old. Very old. But I'm wondering - maybe too old?

As I watch my grandfather grow older, and listen to my friends speak about their grandparents, I have to wonder if we've gone too far. At what point to we cross the line from keeping someone happy and comfortable to preserving a life that has been stripped of all - or at least most - of its joy and dignity?

I think our loved ones, as they get older, should be encouraged to live their lives the way they want to. And I'm wondering how many people would select an intervention or medical therapy that prolongs their life if they know they will age to the point that they can't move around as they wish? Or feed themselves? Or maybe the worst of all - use the bathroom independently?

And when, as a family member or care giver, is it time to intervene and demand that someone no longer drive their car? Or leave their home to reside in an assisted living facility or family member's home? On the one hand, an adult is an adult and should make their own decisions. But I can't exactly argue that point when it comes at the safety of themselves, and even more so the general public.

As of late my grandfather - who is generally a very sweet person - has been encountering all types of obstacles that come with aging. To make a long story short, his confusion (and perhaps stubbornness) has caused him to attempt to physically harm nurses and be either medically sedated or restrained in the hospital. Now he's in rehab eating food he hates, drinking liquid that's been thickened (gross, he'll tell you every chance he gets), allowing the days to pass by. He doesn't like to read or watch TV because he's experiencing double vision. His hearing is going. And he can't walk on his own. It breaks my heart! Seeing (and hearing) his frustration is just terrible.

Now the goal is that he will be rehabilitated to some sort of level of independence. Time will tell how much improvement his body is capable of. But will he ever be able to do his favorite thing - drink a highball and eat a nice, salty meal after a long day of fishing? Or play cards with his friends? Or dance with my Grandma? We can only hope for a miracle!!!

This has sparked so many conversations among my family. And as much as I hate to hear my Dad say he wants to get to a certain age and get hit by a bus, I kinda understand where he's coming from!!!

Bikram Yoga: HOTTTT SHIT!

Attended my first Bikram Yoga - aka sweaty yoga or hot yoga - with my friend Ashley today (yea, obviously it was HER idea!). I knew I had to drink a lot, I knew I had to bring water and some towels, and I knew to wear very light weight clothing. I did not know, however, the extent to which I would sweat! I didn't know I had that IN ME! The heat was tough. Soaked right through all my clothes and looked like HELL walking out.

The yoga itself was a higher level than I was used to, but was manageable. And I LOVED LOVED LOVED the atmosphere. The instructor was fabulous, and if any of the other "yogis" were judging, they hid it well. You do what you can, when you can. And plenty of people took breaks throughout, not just the "newbies". I appreciated that everyone's yoga was their own personal journey. I had to cheat a lot and look around to be sure I was doing the moves correctly, but for the most part everyone was very focused on their own thing. That's how it's supposed to be after all, isn't it?

The benefits of yoga are indisputable. The balance, the stretching, the meditation and the strengthening. Do I need to do it in a 105 degree room? Jury's still out. But I will certainly go another time or two before making up my mind.

And THANKS to my AshHole for encouraging me to step slightly outside my comfort zone and try something new.

Now - I'm ready to pass out. I stretched muscles today that I didn't even realize existed. I can't wait to see how I feel tomorrow!

I've Got Sweet Skills

... or I'm at least trying to learn them!

I have this habit of always speaking my mind. Telling people what I think, even when they don't ask. And I've always justified it by saying I want what's best for them - which is still true! But what I'm learning is that it doesn't always help. 

You're probably thinking I'm an idiot for being 28 years old and just learning this now. But I have been a very firm believer that you don't help anyone by not calling them out when they're wrong, by justifying their weird behaviors with acceptance and by letting people do things that will cause upset, hurt and confusion long term. If I can see a train wreck up ahead, I thought I had a duty to speak up. And while I'm writing all this out - I STILL firmly believe it.

I guess what I'm realizing is - delivering that well intended message and it being heard and received in the way it is intended (to be helpful) depends as much on the recipient as it does on the message itself, and the person sending the message. 

For me - while I may not LIKE what is being said, I generally appreciate when a friend (or family member) tells me I'm being wrong. Again - in the heat of the moment I may not do a good job of being grateful. But I appreciate feedback, especially from someone I trust. These messages aren't easy to deliver! 

But what I'm realizing is not everyone wants the feedback. Or maybe they just don't want it from me. But either way, the world will be a better place when I learn when to speak, and when to bite my tongue. I'm learning that I can be knowledgeable of a situation - and even opinionated, and I can stay out. I can take sides when people are feuding - but no one has to know (especially the person I'm not siding with)!

Also - some people know they are doing something they shouldn't, and have made the conscious decision to do it anyway - for whatever reason. In which case they certainly don't want someone pointing out why it's a bad idea. 

It's a real challenge for me to hold back - but I'm getting markedly better at it. And if you want my opinion -- just ask! I'm so willing to share. 

In Addition to Creepdar, I Lack Patience and Persistence...

This just in - I'M NOT PATIENT. If you are reading this blog, you probably know me personally, and this will come as a shocking revelation.

I wish I had more patience. It's probably the first thing I would change about my personality. And I've tried to learn patience, but that is easier said than done.

Coupled with the patience problem is my lack of persistence. The two go hand in hand really - when I don't get immediate results, I give up. I'm going to work on this situation - mind over matter, right?

A Rant About Facebookers

I cannot STAND when people post vague status messages. Don't tell people you're angry/sad/happy/excited/scared if you don't want to tell them why! You are posting something on the internet. On a social networking site, no less. If you are worried about your privacy, or sharing too much information - don't even mention it in a public forum. DUH. It's purely annoying. Or how about the people putting messages up like "I guess I know who my real friends are". Here's an idea - grow a pair and tell the person directly what you think.

And furthermore - facebook is FREE. People spend countless hours using the FREE service, then have the nerve to complain about it when they make changes. Or isn't functioning properly. If you don't like it - don't use it!

The funny part about the common cold

For the past few days I've really been down for the count. I have a cold. And it SUCKS. Maybe the worst cold I've had in a while. I could go into detail - but long story short, there has been lots of sneezing, TERRIBLE sinus pain, phlegm (is that how you spell it?) - the works. The interesting part is the remedies that everyone "swears by".

Everyone has the remedy. Stay in bed til you feel better (really? Who has that luxury?). Drink Emergen-C 16 times a day. Drink tea all day. Add bourbon to the tea. Take antibiotics. Someone even offered me their spare antibiotics. No one seems to think letting a common cold run its course is reasonable these days.

I will say - last night waking up feeling like my sinuses were on FIRE I ran hot water and inhaled steam. That did offer enough relief for me to fall back to sleep and for some aleve to kick in.

I used to find sneezing pleasantly disruptive. Shakes things up a bit. Adds a little excitement to the situation. But I'm over that for the foreseeable future. I would like to not sneeze for at least 2 weeks.

And the real pain in the ass? You can be feeling totally fine when you're upright. Lay down for a few minutes and the snot starts settling in. BEAUTIFUL.

Don't feel sorry for me. I just have a cold. Almost everyone survives them. But I'm glad to see this bad boy go!

I Lack Creepdar

I seem to lack the ability to detect creeps. Maybe creeps is a harsh word,. Sketchiness? Wherever it falls on the spectrum, my internal alarm does not sound. 

Twice in the last few months married men (although only one was even honest about being married) bought my girlfriends and I drinks, food, etc. at happy hour. And I had to ASK if it was approaching, if not crossing, the line of decency. 

Now granted - the first guy did NOT disclose he was married. Implied quite the opposite, in fact. So it seemed less sketchy at the time, more sketchy in retrospect. He offered to take us all to Atlantic City (and I really don't think he was kidding). He was a ton of fun. No sex appeal... he came in with a strange hair cut (which he had gotten earlier that day - he was proud of it!) and his button down shirt only buttoned to about his nipple line and his hairy chest exposed. Side note - he was compliant when it was suggested he button another button or two. But he was super generous with the booze. Bought a few bottles of some of the best champagne I've ever had. And treated the bartenders (who we ADORE) very well. He had a bat-phone and an entourage. I actually hope to see him again soon. He was a character. 

Married men aside - my creepdar is BROKE. I will have to rely on my trusted friends' input until further notice. Thanks in advance!

Miscellaneous Thoughts on a Fairly Typical Tuesday

1. Someone I consider a friend (a pretty good one at that!) looked directly at me and lied. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why. My initial reaction was to be offended, but then I though to myself "I've been there" - and the truth is it was probably more about them than me. Furthermore, it doesn't feel good to do things you can't be honest about. I hope they get that figured out soon.

2. If people are acting secretive, it's sketchy. It doesn't make people around them feel good. If something isn't someone's business, have the confidence to tell them. Don't act like a middle school moron.

3. Mashed cauliflower ain't so bad. You just can't tell yourself "it's practically the same as mashed potatoes" - just like fat free cheese doesn't taste like the real deal. Some "healthy alternatives" work, some don't. But it's not really fooling anyone.

4. There's nothing like a good laugh.

5. This weekend is my sister's birthday. We're going to brunch. How cool is brunch? The thing is - at most places, it's just mid-day breakfast. Does anyone order lunch food at brunch? Unless it's a buffet, I'm guessing the vast majority of people are really eating mid-day breakfast. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

6. I'm REALLY glad I didn't have a facebook page in high school. I can guarantee I would have posted some pretty stupid stuff. Not to say I don't post stupid stuff as an adult. But generally it's not emotionally charged, or an obvious dig at someone. A hormonal teenager can't be expected to maintain control ALL the time. Unfortunately, it's posted on the internet....

7. Words with friends is taking over my life! I apologize to everyone reading this that is currently playing against me. I'm not the most responsive - it's so much to keep up with! I'm trying, though, people!

8. I have to go to sleep now.

Reviving this blog!

For a few weeks now I've been planning to revive my blog. I think it's an interesting to document my thoughts - and progress - as I work on becoming (in my personal life) who I want to be.

I logged back into this account after a LONG time and had fun reading through my previous posts. I've grown a bit since I last logged in, and some things never change. I think the majority of those posts could have been written yesterday. But I digress...

I've set some pretty serious goals for myself. I'm a firm believer that people should always strive to become a better version of themselves. Not to say that we aren't good enough just the way we are. But why NOT try to become better? I just can't come up with a reasonable answer for this. I've identified three things I'm going to focus on - and WHEN I reach my goals, I'll set new ones!

1. Dating. More specifically, to go out with at least 3 people I've never met before - and identify what characteristics are essential in a partner. And perhaps more importantly - what my deal breakers are. I'm on some dating sites - and I'll go into more detail about those later. I could also meet these strangers in bars, stores, on the street - or through friends/family. Do you have any strangers I might like to meet? I haven't been working on this goal long, but I'm already realizing the need to get away from what I think is "safe" or "comfortable". I often times joke that I'm looking for a man that will manage my finances. I'm happy making money, I just HATE paying bills every month. But clearly, there is more to an ideal partner than the ability to maintain a household budget.

If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got. - - One of my favorite quotes. And applicable to just about everything.

2. Friendships/Interpersonal Relationships. I really need to work on accepting people for who (and what) they are. I can't change people - all I can change is me: my mindset, my actions, the amount of energy I'm willing to invest. I'm so fortunate to have friends that really operate in a give-and-take fashion. My goal is to really nurture the relationships that are mutually beneficial, and accept others for whatever they are. I really cherish the people in my life that are consistently able to lend an ear or offer advice. But, there's nothing bad about having friends that offer little more than the occasional good time, right? My goal is to recognize - and accept - everyone for who they are.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - - Absolutely love the serenity prayer.

3. Weight loss. You've heard this before, right? There is so much temptation around me - and it usually comes in a glass with a stem ;) I'm always planning on getting "back on my diet tomorrow" - well, tomorrow is today. It's time, ladies and gentleman. I am hoping if I can maintain order in other aspects of my life, I will be better able to control this. Am I way off base in thinking that an orderly house will somehow, down the line, parlay into planning meals in advance, packing my lunches and making time to get my ass to the gym?

The only thing standing between you and your goal is some bullshit excuse. -- I've messed this quote up, it had more impact and appeal when I read it on someone's facebook page. But you get the idea!

So - more to come on all of these goals. Some will be way more fun to read about than others, I'm sure! Now that I've written all this down - on the INTERNET - I really should convince myself to turn off the tv, clean the house and prepare for my week ahead. But I really think Fight Club is a movie I should see...