Overall I would say 2013 was a pretty decent year. I learned a lot. I stretched myself professionally. I was surrounded by people getting married and having babies. And I'm so fortunate to say that I went the whole year without anything particularly bad happening.
But... you read the title. It was a year of realization. And some things just aren't that fun to realize.
First and foremost - I'm not as happy or strong as I thought I was. It took a very tearful day and few blunt conversations for me to realize this one. I have a lot of work to do on myself. It won't be easy and it won't be quick, but with some determination, concentration and love from my family and friends, I know I can get to where I need to be!
Another equally hard lesson - friends change. Their priorities. Their location. Their circumstances. Seems like a no-brainer. But this past year I was dealing with major change after major change. It can be difficult to emotionally keep up. And it kills me to say that I lost a few good friends. I hope that as their priorities and circumstances change, we will be good friends again. And on that note - another thing I realized is that I can't force it, much less control it.
A much more refreshing realization - I actually CAN enjoy alone time. At some point I even start craving it. For so long I kept a packed schedule. One activity to the next and always penciling as many people in as possible. I don't fear nights that I'm sitting on the couch watching TV with my dog. Sometimes I even schedule THOSE now. I also don't mind saddling up to a bar - especially in a far away city - all by myself.
And the realization that I don't really know what to do with - I'm an old soul. I thought of myself as irresponsible and goofy. But some people that know me fairly well set me straight (one person threw it out there and I took a poll and it was confirmed). I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. It's just something I never really realized before.
While some of these were difficult, emotionally draining things to realize, self awareness and general knowledge about how the world works are SUPER positive things. With this year's wrap up, I'll begin drafting some resolutions!
