I've Got Sweet Skills

... or I'm at least trying to learn them!

I have this habit of always speaking my mind. Telling people what I think, even when they don't ask. And I've always justified it by saying I want what's best for them - which is still true! But what I'm learning is that it doesn't always help. 

You're probably thinking I'm an idiot for being 28 years old and just learning this now. But I have been a very firm believer that you don't help anyone by not calling them out when they're wrong, by justifying their weird behaviors with acceptance and by letting people do things that will cause upset, hurt and confusion long term. If I can see a train wreck up ahead, I thought I had a duty to speak up. And while I'm writing all this out - I STILL firmly believe it.

I guess what I'm realizing is - delivering that well intended message and it being heard and received in the way it is intended (to be helpful) depends as much on the recipient as it does on the message itself, and the person sending the message. 

For me - while I may not LIKE what is being said, I generally appreciate when a friend (or family member) tells me I'm being wrong. Again - in the heat of the moment I may not do a good job of being grateful. But I appreciate feedback, especially from someone I trust. These messages aren't easy to deliver! 

But what I'm realizing is not everyone wants the feedback. Or maybe they just don't want it from me. But either way, the world will be a better place when I learn when to speak, and when to bite my tongue. I'm learning that I can be knowledgeable of a situation - and even opinionated, and I can stay out. I can take sides when people are feuding - but no one has to know (especially the person I'm not siding with)!

Also - some people know they are doing something they shouldn't, and have made the conscious decision to do it anyway - for whatever reason. In which case they certainly don't want someone pointing out why it's a bad idea. 

It's a real challenge for me to hold back - but I'm getting markedly better at it. And if you want my opinion -- just ask! I'm so willing to share. 

In Addition to Creepdar, I Lack Patience and Persistence...

This just in - I'M NOT PATIENT. If you are reading this blog, you probably know me personally, and this will come as a shocking revelation.

I wish I had more patience. It's probably the first thing I would change about my personality. And I've tried to learn patience, but that is easier said than done.

Coupled with the patience problem is my lack of persistence. The two go hand in hand really - when I don't get immediate results, I give up. I'm going to work on this situation - mind over matter, right?

A Rant About Facebookers

I cannot STAND when people post vague status messages. Don't tell people you're angry/sad/happy/excited/scared if you don't want to tell them why! You are posting something on the internet. On a social networking site, no less. If you are worried about your privacy, or sharing too much information - don't even mention it in a public forum. DUH. It's purely annoying. Or how about the people putting messages up like "I guess I know who my real friends are". Here's an idea - grow a pair and tell the person directly what you think.

And furthermore - facebook is FREE. People spend countless hours using the FREE service, then have the nerve to complain about it when they make changes. Or isn't functioning properly. If you don't like it - don't use it!

The funny part about the common cold

For the past few days I've really been down for the count. I have a cold. And it SUCKS. Maybe the worst cold I've had in a while. I could go into detail - but long story short, there has been lots of sneezing, TERRIBLE sinus pain, phlegm (is that how you spell it?) - the works. The interesting part is the remedies that everyone "swears by".

Everyone has the remedy. Stay in bed til you feel better (really? Who has that luxury?). Drink Emergen-C 16 times a day. Drink tea all day. Add bourbon to the tea. Take antibiotics. Someone even offered me their spare antibiotics. No one seems to think letting a common cold run its course is reasonable these days.

I will say - last night waking up feeling like my sinuses were on FIRE I ran hot water and inhaled steam. That did offer enough relief for me to fall back to sleep and for some aleve to kick in.

I used to find sneezing pleasantly disruptive. Shakes things up a bit. Adds a little excitement to the situation. But I'm over that for the foreseeable future. I would like to not sneeze for at least 2 weeks.

And the real pain in the ass? You can be feeling totally fine when you're upright. Lay down for a few minutes and the snot starts settling in. BEAUTIFUL.

Don't feel sorry for me. I just have a cold. Almost everyone survives them. But I'm glad to see this bad boy go!

I Lack Creepdar

I seem to lack the ability to detect creeps. Maybe creeps is a harsh word,. Sketchiness? Wherever it falls on the spectrum, my internal alarm does not sound. 

Twice in the last few months married men (although only one was even honest about being married) bought my girlfriends and I drinks, food, etc. at happy hour. And I had to ASK if it was approaching, if not crossing, the line of decency. 

Now granted - the first guy did NOT disclose he was married. Implied quite the opposite, in fact. So it seemed less sketchy at the time, more sketchy in retrospect. He offered to take us all to Atlantic City (and I really don't think he was kidding). He was a ton of fun. No sex appeal... he came in with a strange hair cut (which he had gotten earlier that day - he was proud of it!) and his button down shirt only buttoned to about his nipple line and his hairy chest exposed. Side note - he was compliant when it was suggested he button another button or two. But he was super generous with the booze. Bought a few bottles of some of the best champagne I've ever had. And treated the bartenders (who we ADORE) very well. He had a bat-phone and an entourage. I actually hope to see him again soon. He was a character. 

Married men aside - my creepdar is BROKE. I will have to rely on my trusted friends' input until further notice. Thanks in advance!